How to Make the World a Splendid Place?

‘Did you say the stars were worlds, Tess?’
‘Yes.’
‘All like ours?’
‘I don’t know; but I think so. They sometimes seem to be like the apples on our stubbard-tree. Most of them splendid and sound- a few blighted.’
‘Which one do we live on- a splendid or blighted one?’
‘A blighted one.’

– Tess of The D’Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy.

Why do you think Thomas Hardy referred to Earth as a blighted world? Well, the reasons make up a massive ocean and I will be focusing, only on a single drop. Which is, the deteriorating relationships between humans due to the numerous conflicts that have gone unresolved.

The repeated conflicts humans have with the environment has been talked about extensively but what about the multiple disagreements between us humans? Resolving them is an absolute necessity, therefore I decided to find out the best way to do it. So, with the counsel of the best person I know for this topic, the mediator of our family- my father, I delved into the topic.

Firstly, what is a conflict?

Conflict literally means a disagreement between incompatible parties. The disagreement could be personal, financial, or emotional. There can be conflicts within yourself, within your family, with your teammates or within your community. This can result in antagonistic feelings or actions that result in disharmony and friction between the opposing parties. Therefore, to bridge the fissure caused by conflicts many methods of resolving them have been brought to light.

What is conflict resolution?

Conflict resolution is a way for the opposing parties to reach a peaceful solution to the conflict between them. The discussion with my father led me to realise that there are four main steps to follow to find a solution to any problem. They are,

• Recognizing that there is a conflict.
• Studying the root cause of the conflict.
• Understanding the parties involved.
• Resolving the conflict.

A conflict within yourself could be between your duty and your conscience or between the forces of good and evil within yourself. I bet most of us have had the conversation with the innocent angel and the devious devil but, the question is how did we resolve the conflict between these two vastly opposite characters?

The answer to this question is meditation. I calm myself down and think about the pros and cons. Determination, integrity and the trust I have in myself helps me make the correct decision and resolve any conflicts I have.

Some of the conflicts that happen quite frequently growing up are between you and your family or teammates. Resolving these is of utmost importance because your relationship with your loved ones or your fellow teammates can make or break you. Remember ‘teamwork makes the dream work.’ Therefore, to resolve such conflicts a discussion is necessary.

Conflicts with your family and teammates can be resolved using three methods. They are,

• Collaboration.
• Accommodation.
• Reaching a compromise.

Collaboration is when you work with others to figure out a solution to the problem which satisfies both parties and minimises negative feelings. This is a brilliant method of resolving conflicts with your teammates because this will cause you and your teammates to give your best to the project. This method is used if the result of your teamwork and your long term relationship with your teammates are both important.

A personal experience of falling out with my mother resulted in my father teaching me a very important lesson. When it comes to family be the first to apologize. After the apology, both parties can figure out a solution that is mutually acceptable. Reaching a compromise is a foolproof method of resolving conflicts with your family. Trust me, I know.

Sometimes another method which we use during teamwork or among family is accommodation. Sacrificing your opinions and ideas to resolve the solution might not be everybody’s cup of tea but for those who value long term relationships like me, accommodating the other party’s request causes happiness instead of resentment.

Finally, many of the conflicts that are occurring around the world are among communities. Race, religion and complexion are three of the most common reasons that conflicts between groups of people are created. The repercussions of these conflicts spread like wildfire igniting responses from millions of people around the globe.

A conflict like this requires a very precise method of resolution. Therefore, a stable method of resolving the conflict is to solve the minor issues first and then solve the major issues. Providing short term, medium term, and long term solutions would also satisfy the parties involved in the conflict.

As an example, if there were two communities of different religions conflicting over their living conditions,

• Short term resolution – to provide money and other necessities to the communities.
• Medium term resolution – build living quarters in separate plots so as to prevent other conflicts between the communities.
• Long term conflicts – introduce laws and legislations that will prevent further conflicts between communities.

Likewise, such conflicts can be solved.

But, for conflicts to be resolved successfully there are many skills that come in handy.

• Assertiveness – this is one of the main skills that kick-starts the journey to resolving conflicts. Taking the leadership to negotiate with the parties involved, being decisive, fair, candor and being able to solve problems helps resolve conflicts successfully.

• Empathy – this is an important skill to have if you have to handle difficult personalities. Having a high emotional intelligence, listening attentively to the parties involved and understanding them. Respecting them, their opinions, and their differences and being professional will lead to a smooth relationship with the parties involved in the conflict.

• Creative problem solving – this skill can resolve a conflict keeping all parties satisfied. Coming up with a win-win solution requires you to review options that have been discussed with all parties involved in the conflict. Looking for a solution that benefits everyone will prevent more conflicts from arising.

All of the above points show us that we should not be afraid of conflicts and we should not avoid resolving conflicts. Avoiding deteriorates long term relationships and reduces the chances of a successful resolution. So face conflicts head-on and become more skilled and more qualified so that conflicts can be prevented.

Conflicts can be resolved successfully and the above methods have been discussed extensively but, it has to implemented and integrated into the lives of all the humans on this planet. Only then we will be able to call our planet a splendid one instead of a blighted one.

By Rtr. Amrah Izadeen

References:

• https://www.thebalancecareers.com/conflict-resolutions-skills-2063739
• https://www.waldenu.edu/news-and-events/walden-news/2017/0530-whats-your-conflict-management-style

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